Pregnancy is NOT beautiful

When my husband and I first started trying to get pregnant I was so excited. I'd always heard about how wonderful it is to be carrying this tiny life inside of you for nine months and the bond it creates and even knew people who missed being pregnant after their kid was born! It must be great, right?

Wrong.

We found out I was pregnant when I was about three or four weeks along and by week five I was throwing up almost every day. I remember those first five or six weeks before we told anyone I was pregnant I was constantly hiding preggie pops, mints, and anything else that even slightly helped the nausea. I was constantly hoping people wouldn't noticing me slipping out of the church service to throw up and the only way I could keep food down was wandering the isles of the grocery store and grabbing anything that sounded good and eating it as soon as possible. But even then by the time I got home half the foods I'd picked made me sick just looking at them.

Everyone kept telling me morning sickness went away after the first trimester, which is at 13 weeks. I had horrible morning sickness (more like all day sickness) until 25 weeks. I remember the first time I didn't throw up for a whole day I didn't even want to acknowledge it because I was too scared to jinx it! I lost 15 pounds in the first six weeks of knowing I was pregnant.

Within about a week of my morning sickness FINALLY fading away, I discovered this lovely thing called round ligament pain. Mine was excruciating and getting out of bed in the morning was the worst. I was in tears most mornings from the pain of just standing and then getting dressed on top of that was almost unbearable. I just wanted my pregnancy to be over. I could not catch a break, I can probably count on one hand the number of pain free, puke free, energy filled days I had in my entire pregnancy.

The round ligament pain started to fade and became more tolerable around 30 or 32 weeks. I had even looked into starting to do prenatal yoga in hopes to help it even more, and that's when the carpal tunnel decided to show up. I had to wear braces for the next six weeks of my pregnancy until the very day little Wesley showed up. It was also around this time I started having horrible, wake up in the middle of the night to throw up, type heartburn.

The day I went into labor, I remember getting to the hospital and them hooking me up to monitors to check my progress and thinking "what if this is braxton hicks? I can't handle being pregnant for one more day." Thankfully God was gracious and I really was in labor.

Our little Wesley had decided to show up two weeks early.

I know I've been complaining, a lot, so here comes the positives.

My bosses were amazing. I had so much time off and shortened days made working up until my due date was completely manageable and honestly kept me busy. I would've gone crazy being home throughout my pregnancy.

My husband is the most patient, loving, tolerating, man in the whole world. From dealing with me stopping mid sentence to throw up, hearing me complain constantly,driving to multiple stores just to find me fudgesicles, and everything in between. He showed me so much patience and grace during my very angry days when I did not have the energy to filter my words. I could not be more grateful to have him by my side every step.

Unfortunately one thing I discovered at 36 weeks, is it makes a huge difference in your pregnancy to have a doctor that's willing to go the extra mile for you. I had one doctor I met with at around 18 weeks that told me the secret of taking half a tab of Unisom at night, that was the beginning of the end to my morning sickness. I met with her again at 36 weeks and she asked how my pregnancy had been. My plan going into that appointment was to not even mention all my issues because most of the other doctors I saw just shrugged and said "that's part of pregnancy". I ended up listing all my complaints and she had a solution to Every. Single. Problem. I called Tristan after the appointment and before I even told him how great it went he commented on how happy I seemed. It is truly one of the best things in the world to have a doctor that listens to you and works hard to find solutions.

All this to say, I felt deceived by how the world, especially media, tends to make pregnancy seem like this perfect beautiful experience. I’m not saying this is everyone’s case, I love my son and I would do it all over again to have him in my life. I just wish I'd known what to expect and known to fight for a doctor that would go above and beyond for me. If we're being honest I also wished I'd seen more people being as miserable as me! Don't get me wrong, I know tons of people do have great and wonderful pregnancies and truly do get to enjoy pregnancy. I also know there are people out there that go through so much more than I did, just to get pregnant, and even more throughout their pregnancy. God blessed my husband and I with being able to get pregnant easily, having no major complications, and having a healthy baby boy. I never want to imply that I had it worse than anyone or that I even want pity or sympathy. I just wished I'd had someone to tell me that pregnancy isn't always a beautiful and happy experience and sometimes it just sucks.

#Mamalife #Pregnancy